coincidence
Posted by: bubblesofjoyandsorrow on: December 8, 2009
I was looking for some music to play in jheng’s music collection, and thought of playing MYMP. I’ve been playing the album for quite sometime already, yet this song caught my attention just this morning. What a coincidence with my current state. :p Felt depressed, stealing the joy that my Starbucks’ penguin tumbler brought me just an hour ago. I still enjoyed the song, though, that i kept on singing it till i went home. 
____________________
Soon It’s Christmas
MYMP
The thought of you keeps haunting me
And it’s your face I always see
Wherever I go I always remember
Soon it’s Christmas
Yes it’s Christmas
But you’re not here anymore
Last time it was us together
But we couldn’t make it last forever
What can I do each time I remember
Soon it’s Christmas
Oh it’s Christmas again
[chorus]
Though the stars shine so bright
I just can’t feel so right
If I can’t find a way to be with you again
On Christmas day
Oh, hoh
Last time it was us together
But we couldn’t make it last forever
What can I do each time I remember
Soon it’s Christmas
Oh it’s Christmas again
[repeat chorus 4x]
Soon it’s Christmas
Soon it’s Christmas
my penguin...
a halloween nightmare
Posted by: bubblesofjoyandsorrow on: November 1, 2008
The comment made me feel like an idiot. Like someone who doesn’t know what he is saying or telling. Someone who hasn’t prepared well. I know that i am not very comfortable with the field, but i know i did my best to explain them well enough, even in layman’s terms. It seems that the appreciation of the effort wasn’t given. It just made me feel bad about myself. Has made me look at myself intimidately. I think it should have been better if he gave the comment after, if he had just confronted me alone. He embarassed me in the entire crowd, even if the comment was made for a good intention. I can’t still deny the miserable feeling that i felt. 
ID
Posted by: bubblesofjoyandsorrow on: October 27, 2008
Sheesh. Lunes na lunes kung anu anu ang nangyari sakin. Mag-half day na nga para makapag research para sa policy, naging whole day absent pa. Hampf. Ayos na sana, naka condition na ako na half day at pagkatapos ko sa SEC ay papasok na ako ng opisina. Nagbihis na ako, naglagay ng blazer at extra blouse pamasok sa bag ko. Paalis na ako. Chineck ko ang bag ko para siguraduhing andun ang ID ko. Wenk. Wala. Ayun na. Nataranta na ako kakahanap. Silip dito, silip dun. Yuko dito, yuko doon. Angat dito, angat dun. Hanap dito, hanap dun. Wala. Kulang na lang baligtarin ko ang buong kwarto namin para lang makita ang mga* ID ko, pero wala. Pilit kong inaalala kung saan ko sya huling nakita. Kailan ko sya huling nahawakan. Pero wala akong maalala. May memeory gap na nga ata ako. Haaay. Basta ang natatandaan ko ay inilagay ko sya sa bag ko pag labas ko ng gate ng school noong Sabado. Nakita ko pa nga un noong nasa jeep kami ni dada papuntang MRT. naka siksik sya sa bag ko. Yun ang huling alaala na mayroon ako sa ID ko. Pagkatapos nun, ung kasal na ng officemate ko ang naaalala ko. Wala na sa picture ang ID ko. Naglipat ako ng gamit kahapon ng umaga bago ako umalis papuntang church. Pero hindi ko maalala kung nakita ko pa ang ID ko, o kung isa ba sya sa mga inilipat ko. Wala na akong makitang kahit anung bakas nya. Wala talaga.
Ok lang naman na mawala sila. At least ID lang at hindi lisensya ko. Kase mas mahirap kumuha ng panibaging lisensya kumpara sa mga ID na un. Nanghihinyang lang ako sa ibabayad ko sa school ID na bago kasi huling term ko na ngaun at gra-graduate na ako, pero nawalan pa ako ng ID. Last week pa sya pili na nagpapakawala. Nalaglag na sya noong nakaraang linggo, napigtal ata ung tali. Pro buti na lang noon, sa school campus sya nalaglag kaya may nakapag sauli pa. Ngayon, hindi ko alam saan sya napunta. Gusto na ata talaga kumawala ng mga ID kong yun haha! Naalala ko tuloy kanina, parang ganito din ang nangyari sa akin noong kolehiyo. Ilang araw na lang at matatapos na ang semestre ay nawala pa ang ID ko. ang saya saya nga naman. Deja vu. Ayos. Hehe.
*MGA kase andun ang school ID ko at Office IDs ko (ALAI at BPI-CSC). Saya! hehe
that’s it
Posted by: bubblesofjoyandsorrow on: October 20, 2008
i do not know what happened: we’re just ok already. I chose not to prolong my depression so I finally gave up my tantrums (or whatever you call it) and talked to him.
But we never talked what happened. Or the issue regarding it. I am already tired of explaining to him these things over and over again. And they seem to be nonsense, they keep on recurring. While I was walking on my way home, I’ve settled in my heart to just keep it, and whatever pain that has been inflicted, let it remain there. I do not know, but if numbness finds its way to me some time, then let it be. I just do not want to talk about it anymore. He wouldn’t open up his mind about it anyway (I think). I just don’t want to explain again to him.
left hanging
Posted by: bubblesofjoyandsorrow on: October 19, 2008
- In: just me
- 2 Comments
This Sunday was really a mess. The only nice thing that happened today: I was able to read my part for our reporting in Business Policy next week. The rest, never mind.
It really irritates me when my time for people is being compromised, and that I am helpless in the situation: there is nothing i can do about it, even if i get irritated or mad or depressed, nothing will happen to have that person spend a little time with me. I don’t want to demand. I’m really not demanding or anything, actually. And i understand my position and the situation itself. I just don’t like the feeling of being left behind and hanging.
Hope to get out of this soon.
Philippines mall mogul rakes it in as crisis hits rich: Forbes
Posted by: bubblesofjoyandsorrow on: October 19, 2008
AFP – Thursday, October 16
MANILA (AFP) – - A shopping mall mogul has become the Philippines richest man after amassing 1.4 billion dollars in past year, while his peers were hit by the global financial crisis, it was announced Thursday.
The fortune that Henry Sy made was the “biggest gain in absolute terms” of the country’s wealthiest 40 families, who saw their collective wealth plunge 18 percent amid the world credit turmoil, Forbes magazine said in a statement.
In its annual list of the Philippines’ richest people, Forbes said the country’s stock exchange had dived 35 percent in the past year, making 25 out of 40 tycoons — including those in banking and real estate — were poorer.
Forbes said the Sy family was now worth 3.1 billion dollars, vaulting from second place to first.
The low-profile 83-year-old and his family control SM Investments, which owns stakes in a dozen companies including the nation’s second largest bank.
Sy started off selling shoes to American GIs in the Philippines in 1958. From one store known as Shoemart, he built a multi-billion dollar empire.
Today he is Asia’s biggest shopping mall operator with 30 mega malls throughout the Philippines.
Jaime Zobel de Ayala and family slipped from first to third as their wealth suffered a massive drop of 800 million dollars, to 1.2 billion dollars, Forbes said.
The stock of their conglomerate Ayala Corp. is down 46 percent since last year in part because of the economic slowdown and declining profits in banking and electronics manufacturing units, it said.
Moving up to second position is Lucio Tan and family, with a net worth of 1.5 billion dollars, although this is still down by 100 million dollars from last year.
Tan controls Philippine airlines as well as the country’s largest cigarette firm, one of its largest brewers, mining operations and Hong Kong property.
Also hit hard is property tycoon Andrew Gotianun of Filinvest Land, who fell 10 places to 17th after losing 625 million dollars to give him a net worth of 235 million dollars.
Senate President Manuel Villar, the largest shareholder in high-end homebuilder Vista Land, also saw his wealth tumble 55 percent to 425 million dollars to put him in 11th, down from fifth last year.
Another property kingpin, Andrew Tan, saw his net worth plunge 400 million dollars to 700 million dollars.
The 57-year old made much of his wealth as an office developer for the outsourcing industry and is now betting on gaming and tourism.
Of the 40 richest Filipinos this year, 11 tycoons eked out gains but almost all of those increases were because of reporting on new assets or shareholdings or the combination of relatives’ stakes, including Sy.
The Philippines had three billionaires this year compared with four last year as Andrew Tan lost this elite status.
Lourdes Montinola seemed to buck the trend as shares of her Far Eastern University increased 38 million dollars to vault her to number 31 with a net worth of 68 million dollars.
There was only one newcomer, Alfredo Ramos of Atlas Consolidated Mining, who debuted at number 23 with a net worth 126 million dollars.
A net worth of 30 million dollars is required to make the Philippines rich list, unchanged from last year. Fourteen tycoons had net worth of less than 100 million dollars and four of last year’s members failed to make the cut.
(http://ph.news.yahoo.com/afp/20081016/tbs-finance-banking-lifestyle-philippine-059e858.html)
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I am really fascinated with the stories of these wealthy people: Henry Sy and Gokongwei. They really deserve to be where they are right now considering all their hardwork to reach this high.
Twilight
Posted by: bubblesofjoyandsorrow on: October 16, 2008
For those who would want to take a sneek peek of the Twilight movie (taken from the book Twilight by Stephenie Meyer, first of the Twilight Series). It will be shown November 21, 2008. Weee!
Demotivating a (Good) Programmer
Posted by: bubblesofjoyandsorrow on: October 16, 2008
this article was sent by a former officemate of mine, and I would like to share it with you as well. hehehe
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Demotivating a (Good) Programmer
(note: based on a true story, but not mine)
http://lbrandy.com/blog/2008/10/demotivating-a-good-programmer/
Let’s say you are a boss of some developers. And you’ve got this one guy who is way too motivated. He is making everyone else look bad. You want to force him to quit. I have no idea why you’d want to get rid of your one motivated good programmer, but you boss-type guys pull this kind of crazy stuff all the time, right? Anyway, let me explain how you, the boss, can suck the ever-loving life from this programmer and make him hate his job.
Things That Won’t Work
Money
If a programmer really enjoys what he’s doing, he’s going to overlook the money. It’s true. Good programmers aren’t motivated by the money. They’d always take a cool job working on cool things over some percentage points worth of money (not to be confused with huge piles of cash). A smart programmer will know he’s underpaid, after awhile he’ll make his monetary demands known. This potential discontent, though, won’t effect his performance. Eventually, if you keep refusing, he might get the point and leave. But he’ll leave sad. Because he liked this job. At any rate, this method takes way too long (several years, probably) and can fail way too easily.
Acclaim
If you usually give verbal kudos to your good employees, and you suddenly cut him off, he probably won’t notice. Here’s the thing about really motivated programmers, they aren’t really listening in that meeting with you. They don’t much care for the meeting, in the first place. Having a lot more meetings, though, might work. But everyone will hate that. Probably not a wise idea. They know meetings are a necessity. It’s the price of doing business. They just want to get out and go back to doing whatever cool thing they were working on.
Equipment
If he’s using a 16-inch monitor and a 5 year old keyboard, that will probably make him miserable, right? Of course not. If he loves his job, he’ll bring in two $100 monitors and his own keyboard. That’s a tiny price to pay for a cool job, working on cool things.
Chefs, Bean bag chairs, XBox360, Ping Pong
If you cut off the chef food or the Guitar Hero lounge, he won’t mind. I promise. The highly motivated people don’t come to work to play xbox. They can do that at home. There’s something there worth doing and they want to do it. In fact, removing these things will probably annoy the lesser motivated people more.
The Secret
If you hadn’t noticed the foreshadowing above, consider this your executive summary: he is motivated because he likes the actual work . That’s the Achilles heel. Now, before you think you’ve got this problem solved, let me explain to you the secret to the secret: what he thinks is cool is almost beyond your comprehension. Smart people have a way of turning even the most seemingly mundane problems into something that is fun to work on. You could switch him into regression testing, and it might make him happier . Why? Because you have absolutely no idea what constitutes fun for a computer programmer.
The Secret to the Secret
Developers hate three things, above all else, in increasing order of painfulness…
1. Working on stuff that is easy
2. Working on stuff that is tangential
3. Working on stuff that no one will use
These are the three deadliest of deadly sins in the development world. Especially number three. Nothing will suck the life out of programmer faster than working on something he is certain no one will ever use.
These three form our process for crushing any programmer into oblivion. Switch him into a project that is highly tangential to the core product and that is almost certainly used by no one. Or, better yet, have him work on an internal application. That way you can ensure no one will use it. But, you may say, he may still find it fun. You are right, he might. At first. He’s going to squeeze whatever hard problems are hiding inside his new project out. He’s going to architect a solution and be really proud of it. Just pat him on the head, and keep requesting minor features. Once he’s exhausted the supply of difficult problems, he’ll choke on the never ending monotony of it.
And if, by chance, you are a boss interested in motivating your smart programmers, perhaps there’s a lesson here, too. High salaries are nice. So are bean bag chairs. So are dual monitors and offices with closable doors. These things are ephemeral, though. If you don’t have him working on the core functionality of your product, with tons of users, and an endless supply of difficult problems, all of the games of ping pong in the world won’t help.
So next time you want to try to emulate Google’s environment, ask yourself what really is the environment ? Is it really the techno-colored bean bag chairs?
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After I read this one, I suddenly realized (again) how less motivated I am with my work. Bwahaha. 
So odd? Not really. I guess i’m just not born to be a programmer. Though I am learning to Love it, just remove the monotony part of the work. Monotony really sucks! :p Even the never ending problems of the same project. That is really worse. It drains me that much. 
Magulong Sunday at Monday
Posted by: bubblesofjoyandsorrow on: September 29, 2008
the end of my last trimester was a deja vu of the preceding one. the only difference is that, our grades for this trimester were submitted late. but that’s another story.
I found myself in the world of Recto again yesterday. What the heck am i doing in Recto on a Sunday? Well, i should have been spending time with dada at that time. However, because of my irresponsible and “i-am-magaling” groupmate, i had to have the other copy of our business plan reprinted and have it book bound, so i could submit it on time this morning (take note, this morning. and it’s a monday. So, guess you’ve already figured out that i didn’t go to work today huh? hehe)
I actually forgot to consider going to Recto not until the church service has ended, and when we have already entered SM. So after dada bought his Kiwi, we rode a FX to Quiapo and set our feet off at Legarda. We started looking for those shops who accepts rush book binding… But since we haven’t had the paper printed yet, so we started to look for an internet shop. Good thing, our business plan is in my email. After finding one, and having all the necessary files ready for printing, the shop informed us that they do not have colored printing. Geez. Nice. So we just had a few pages printed (ung mga walang colored pics) and we looked for another internet shop WITH colored printing available. Bwahaha. Buti na lang sa gilid ng FEU meron. Although a bit pricey compared with others (@Php5.00 up per page, depending on how large is the colored picture), ok na rin. I wasn’t thinking about the price anymore, kailangan ko lang mapa book bind un before those stores close. After printing, hanap kami uli ng pa-book bind…. Buti na lang ung napuntahan namin, pumayag agad. It was already 4pm…. And most of the stores there closes at 5pm kase sunday…. I wasn’t expecting na tanggapin pa nila ung akin, pero buti na lang they did. They said we can claim it after an hour. I asked how much does the binding costs, Php200.00 lang daw. Good! that’s the only money left in my wallet ahihi. So after paying a deposit, we crossed the street and went to Ever Gotesco to find something to eat. For lunch. haha. We finally settled for Pizza Hut (sabi ko nga din kay dada, after kami maserve-an ng food namin, e mga 5pm na rin. hehehe).
Balik kami after an hour, kaya lang di pa tapos. So we went to National Bookstore muna to spend our spare time there (saw Book 4 of Twilight! waah! ahihi). We tried going back at around 6.30, patapos na. We paid, and left.
Mukhang ok lang ang aming misadventures ano? Pero what happened yesterday was soooo tiring. I am just thankful that God created a place like Recto. It’s really a good place to go, especially in case of emergency tapos nataon pa na holiday or sunday.
——–
Kaya lang, i noticed that there was a wrong spelling in the front cover: the words GRADUATE SCHOOL became GRADUATES CHOOL. Haha! Buti na lang di “COOL”. wehehe. Since it was my first time, I thought that they’ll have to do it all over again, and i’ll have to wait another 2 hours to get it done. So sabi ko, sige hayaan na lang. When we’re already on the bus on the way home, kinulit ko uli si dada about the spelling. He said that the only thing that they can do is to either change the entire cover or “tapalan” the part that has the wrong spelling. Shocks. Puede pala tapalan un…. He should have said it earlier. Nahiya na ako sa kanya if mag aya pa ako na bumalik kami…. Plus, we were already at Pureza that time, malapit na rin sya bumaba… I’m already tired as well. So sige hinayaan ko na. Kaya lang the thought of submitting something that has a wrong spelling really bothered me so much, that even when i got home, i tried to figure out ways to fix it. I tried printing on the paper, but the color of the letter didn’t match the lettering used in book binding. To console me, dada suggested that we just go back to recto early morning today and have it changed dun sa pinag pagawaan namin. Ok…
Upon arriving at Recto, we found that most of the shops are still closed (well, we were there at around 6.45 am… hehe). Two men also informed us that the store where we had it book bound opens at around 9am pa…. Shocks. I had my print out with me, and i showed it to dada. We were already thinking of placing it instead kahit magkaiba ang kulay nila at halatang print out sya. We stayed at Jollibee while thinking how we will do it. However, dada’s isn’t satisfied with it. Na-OC sya sa color. So after finishing our pancakes, we looked for other shops that might be open already. It is already around 7.30 am. We went to the side where LRT Recto station is, and asked the few stores there if they can have our cover fixed. They directed us to a store named Glo-Mel. Una, mukhang ayaw pa ni manong. He said that their Font type is different from the ones printed in our cover, kaya di puede isang line lang. So sabi ko tapalan na nya ung buong 3 lines (School header). Next excuse: magkaiba daw ang kulay ng maroon nila sa ginamit sa akin. Sabi ko na lang, “OK lang po… Hindi na po yan mahahalata….” Hehe. Ginawa din nya. After around 20 minutes, the wrong spelling got fixed. He charged us 30 pesos, but we gave 50 pesos instead as a way of saying thank you ng sobra. Hehe. This was already around 8.20 am.
So off we went to Recto Station. Dada’s going to office (late syempre), while I am going to drop at their place (hindi naman sa bahay nila, sa Pureza station lang. hehe) and take a jeep to JRU there. I was able to get at school at around 8.50 am. Nasalubong ko si sir at pinasa ko na agad sa kanya. I explained why we have it book bind separately (dapat kase sama-sama buong class). And then the story of why we have our grades not submitted yet goes. Hehe.
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Wala pa pala kay sir ung copy nya ng business plan namin…. Ung pina book bind ng sama-sama… Kaya wala pa kaming grade. Shocks. Una, sabi ko sa sarili ko, anu ba yan.. huhu.. Pero n-realize ko, buti na lang pala, at least nakahabol pa ung isang copy namin. Hehe. We tried to contact my classmates who had them book bind. Sabi nila na kay dean daw. Sabi ni sir, bat kaya kay dean ipinasa e di naman si dean ang mag grade nun, si sir…. Maya-maya dumating na si dean. Hingin na sana ni sir ung copy ni dean para naman ma-grade-an na kami. Kaya lang sabi niya, nasa table daw ni sir nilagay. Tinignan ni sir sa office nya, wala. Wenk. Maya-maya narinig ko sabi ni dean, i-incomplete ung chinese naming classmate (ewan ko bakit) saka ung mga nagsubmit nung nag book bind na red ang color (dapat kase blue. Ewan bakit ung mga classmate ko red ang pinagawa, sinabi din naman ni sir na blue). Grabe naman un, incomplete. E di tinanong ko si sir anu dapat gawin, kung papalitan ba ng cover, para mapa ayos ko na. Sabi ni sir, ayos lang daw un. Hayaan na lang daw si dean. Maya-maya tinawagan ako ng classmate ko, tapos kinausap nya si sir. Malaman laman namin, nasa Area Head pala namin ung isang copy na dapat ay kay sir. Ayos. Hehe. Tapos kinausap ako ni sir, nag labas ng sama ng loob kay dean about sa pag didikta nya ng grade. Then he assured me na walang maging problem. Sya na daw ang bahala.
Bat kaya ganun ang dean namin? Nang didikta ng dapat na ibigay na grade ng mga prof sa mga estudyante…. Siguro deprived sya sa pagtuturo. Buti na lang din at hindi ko sya naging Prof. At buti na lang din ang mga teacher ko ay hindi basta basta magpapasukob sa gusto ni dean na wala namang justice. Haaay.
Yan ang pulitika sa loob ng eskwelahan. Kahit sa graduate school. Ang panget ano?
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Tapos na ang monday. Sana tapos na rin ang monday sickness ko para maka trabaho ako ng maayos bukas. Wala pa namang pasok sa Wednesday. Hehe. Weee!
October na agad. Ang bilis. Haaay.
Fixated.
Posted by: bubblesofjoyandsorrow on: September 29, 2008
September 22, 2008
4.08PM
It’s already 4 in the afternoon. Just 1.5 hours left then the day’s work will be over. As if i have done something called “work” today….. (well, I had one project implemented to production. That was just it.)
I’ve spent the rest of the afternoon just staring at my monitor blankly, looking at the clock in my PC’s taskbar ever now and then to check how many more hours left to go home…
I really got fixated with the number combination. I haven’t gotten over the feeling if my number’s combination was good at all or not… Tapos, i happened to scramble over another combination, which when i checked, was still available. so sad. At this moment, i just want to get out of here, go to the Sun shop and ask if they could still have my number changed.
Fickle-minded me.
Reflects a lot of my personality, huh?
Sigh.
I was starting to think…. Do i really have this manic-depressive disorder? And that i haven’t also was not satisfied during my fixation stage? Freud. Nah.
(btw, my boss went to work, half day. I couldn’t picture the expression i had when i saw him this morning. It seems something like shock or i think it was more of a caught-in-a-crime reaction. bwahaha. Hope he didn’t notice. Hehe.)
4.38. Yeah, i am counting down to 5.30. Hehe…. 58 more minutes. Tagal pa rin. Haaay. Hehe.
- None
- bubblesofjoyandsorrow: bwahaha bad u jhengtot! hehe
- g0ssipgirl: drama queen runner up ^_^
- Tom Humes: Nice Site layout for your blog. I am looking forward to reading more from you. Tom Humes
